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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Life Coaching the Un-Coachable

Last night a friend told me I should be a life coach because I seem good at inspiring people to take risks in life and chase their dreams. I took this as a compliment, but realized that I couldn't be a life coach for a lot of the same reasons why I probably can't ever be a teacher.

At this point in my life, I have a lot of emotional energy riding on my success as a professional and as a person. I work tirelessly to get what I want and get very angry, nervous anxious and resentful of people, places and things that get in my way. I always acknowledge these emotions and then churn them into some sort of positive energy towards the universe. I'm becoming more centered and fragmented at the same time!

One of the things that would make me unsuccessful at life-coaching and/or teaching is the fact that I cannot deal with people who don't follow up on what they want. I am a pretty good listener and I will listen to, empathize with and comfort someone who is having a tough time in their life. I have to be careful not to be too forceful with what I think they should do, because I know that I hate when people automatically assume they know what I need. Instead, I just ask lots of questions revolving around what someone wants from their life. That's how I figured a lot of things out in my own existence. When you acknowledge obstacles and start focusing on how to get over or around them, you're at least using your mental energy for forward progress instead of just aimless worrying.

I'm pretty sure I'd take it very personally if I invested a lot of professional and emotional energy into giving someone advice and helping them take their first steps and seeing them not follow through. It is something I despise so much in myself when I do it, I wouldn't want to project those feelings onto someone else. I'm always willing to have a good, long talk over coffee or wine and wax philosophic about life, but I definitely try to leave my hopes and investments in whichever person I'm talking to at the table.

I feel like if you just put the positive energy that you've got into the world and don't expect anything back, you'll often not get anything back, which is fine. But every so often, someone or something comes along and surprises you by turning into an amazing butterfly from a cocooned ball of angst and worry. That is probably one of the best feelings in life; seeing someone succeed and get what they truly want.

Seeing people genuinely happy makes me happy. I love to feed off it and put my good vibes out. I just don't know if I could put myself out there for a living and take people by the hand and repeatedly see so many not change their lives. Or maybe the few people that do change make it all worth it? Seems similar to drug rehab or AA. To be honest, a lot of these thoughts are based from those sorts of experiences and people. Hmm....

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